


The last farewell

by ChildOfBlueSky



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Lexa's funeral scene, Tribute for our Heda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 23:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfBlueSky/pseuds/ChildOfBlueSky
Summary: Clarke leaves Polis, her heart broken. She has just one thing in mind – find Luna and make her take the Flame. To continue Lexa’s legacy. To prevent the Coalition from shattering, defeat Ontari and Pike. Bring everyone their earned peace. Fight for Lexa’s ideas, her dreams and visions. Make her be proud of Clarke.She is maximally focused on her mission, so she doesn’t know she is not alone. Doesn’t notice a rider in platinum mask, following her constantly since she left Polis…Piece which I missed between 3x09 and 3x10. Clarke actually got a chance to slow down and say the last goodbye to Lexa, along with some characters, truly inspired by their magnificent Heda.





	The last farewell

**Author's Note:**

> I missed funeral of Lexa in the show. I wish Clarke had a chance to say goodbye. But everything was happening too fast, and she hadn't had her chance for mourning. So here it is! I'm sorry for mistakes, I'm not native speaker, I haven't even finished my education yet. I hope you will enjoy.

_You were right, Clarke. Life is about more than just surviving._

            Lexa’s words were engraved in Clarke’s mind. She was sure they would remain there forever. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, while she was galloping through the woods, in pursuit of lost Nigthblood, forgotten for ages. Hidden in a place which no one knew. Skaikru’s and Coalition’s last chance.

            The sky was covered by dark clouds, wind moaned wildly, but for the first time on the ground, she paid no attention to it. She still could hear the gunshot, see Lexa’s eyes, looking at her with pure, warm love, while she was slowly bleeding out in front of her eyes. And Clarke was unable to save her. One tear fell at the white hair of Clarke’s horse. It shivered slightly. Clarke nailed her eyes on the woody path, vanishing somewhere on the horizon.

            They were never given a chance. Lexa’s face suddenly appeared in Clarke’s imagination. Her green eyes, looking with wisdom and courage, her delicate skin, her smile, reserved only for her lover. She had just finally forgiven her. She wished she hadn’t waited so long. She wished she had relished every single moment with her, when it had been possible. They entwined themselves together, becomed one soul, one heart and one body for a while. It was beautiful, but happened too late. If Clarke hadn’t been so stubborn and hesitant, she could have kissed Lexa, feel her smooth fingers on her bare skin more than just one time. If she hadn’t been so focused on _blood must not have blood_ theory, if she had been more patient, maybe she wouldn’t have to dry her eyes right now.

            Lexa denied everything Grounders used to believe for ages. She stood against their tradition, their culture. For her. Ungrateful, thankless Wanheda, who could not forgive, who tortured her with waiting. Whose fate was to die by that damn bullet.

            Clarke realised that her vision was blurred by tears. She tried not to blink, thinking about the first thing she had learned from the Commander. _Love is weakness._ It was just after she was forced to kill Finn. Now, she killed Lexa. Indirectly, but does the intention matter? She was dead. She was dead, her body somewhere in Polis, and Clarke didn’t even had a chance to say eventual farewell.

            Suddenly she heard crack of broken branch. She turned away in panic. The road was empty, but the sound had to be created by a human, who recklessly stepped on a stick. But what was he doing in the middle of the forest? Pictures of Ice Nation warriors, sent by Ontari immediately crossed her mind. She pressed the Flame to her chest. She would never give it away without a fight.

            ,,Wanheda!” Some voice screamed at her from the shadow. Clarke didn’t wait, she chased the horse up and started to gallop along, between primeval, massive trees.

            ,,Wanheda, wait!” The voice resonated in her ears, along with wind’s raging roar. She couldn’t catch her breath. She laid herself on the horse, forcing it to run faster.

            Gleaming arrow lanced the air, centimeters from her head. The horse snorted horribly and reared, kicking the emptiness in front of it. Before Clarke managed to realise, what was happening, she fell into the wet grass.

            Her back hurt like hell. She touched her legs, face distorted from pain. She saw the shadow, appearing on the ground in front of her. The mysterious warrior was standing above her. She remembered her gun, hidden near the belt. She would fight if she had to.

            ,,How long are you going to lie here and relax? Time won’t wait”

            ,,Roan?”

            His voice suddenly becomed familiar. Clarke turned herself on the back, just to see the warrior removing his silver mask. She felt his bright, blue eyes, drilling into her body. He was looking at her with something undefined, between amusement and disregard. However, he offered her his hand, which she took without a moment of hesitation.

            ,,I didn’t expect I would be so scary” He smiled ironically, making Clarke want to roll her eyes. His stable horse stood few steps away, with something like a cart on it.

            ,,I thought Ontari sent somebody to kill me” This moment Clarke realised how stupid she had been. Ontari definitely sent someone. Someone, who was standing in front of her. He even told her, that the next time he saw her, it wouldn’t be as friends. She stepped back and spoke again, this time with tang of anxiety in her voice. ,,What are you doing here, alone, in the middle of the forest?”

            Roan didn’t answer. He pointed on the wagon, affixed to his horse, forcing Clarke to go in its direction. She stepped slowly, afraid that some masked warrios would jump out from nowhere and kidnap her. Or worse, steal the Flame, the last thing she had left from Lexa.

            ,,What the hell is this?!” Clarke came to a dead stop. She rapidly turned to Roan, fire burning in her eyes. ,,Why are you riding with somebody’s corpse? Is this a threat? Warning? Will I be the next?”

            She tried her best not to show her terror. Remembered what Ice Nation did to Costia. She reached for the gun, still watching Roan’s every move. After all she didn’t want to be the one who would attack first.

            ,,You make me wondering, why do I even bother doing you a favor” His voice was surprisingly blue, just like he longed only to end this conversation. Clarke was pretty aware, that despite Ontari’s Ice Nation background, she was an awful person. Roan, as king was one of those to whom suffering her dominion was nothing more than endless torture.

            If Lexa was alive, nothing of this would ever happen. She would be happy with her lover. Roan would be happy in his homeland. Aden and the rest of Nightbloods would be happy too, alive. Her people in Arkadia would be happy. Clarke knew she had to hurry up and find Luna as fast as she coul. She could hear Ontari’s words in her mind.

            _,,When I am Heda and the king bows to me, you and every last member of Skaikru will die.”_

Her mum. Bellamy. Octavia, Raven, Monty. Nate, Harper, Jasper, Murphy. Kane, Sinclair and Jackson. Maybe they were already dead. Maybe Lexa wasn’t the only one she had lost…

            Clarke slowly walked up to beautiful, sable horse. If Roan noticed her being distracted by memories, he hadn’t commented that. Lexa. Her heart ached, and her soul shattered into thousand of pieces, again. She wondered if she would ever be capable of saying her name without this pain, the poison, which devoured her heart from the inside.

            She touched the white sheet and took it down with one fast move. Next moment she saw similar curves of beloved body, smooth caramel skin, soft brown hair and beautiful eyes, now closed. If there hadn’t been a bullet hole near her pelvic bone, Clarke would have thought she was sleeping.

            ,,Lexa…”

            Her legs suddenly weakened, she fell to her knees, next to her lover’s dead body. Her pants immediately becomed wet and dirty from the mud, but she paid no attention. Her heard raged, she wanted to scream, take the knife and hurt herself, just not to feel this pain, slowly eating her alive. She cringed, when she touched her cheek.

            ,,I’m sorry…” She murmured ,,You’re dead because of me. I never wanted this to happen. I… I… I love you…”

            Her vision blurred, but Clarke didn’t care. She gently moved her fingers along Lexa’s face. She touched her closed eyelids, her lips which once used to make her moan in pleasure. One single tear fell down through her cheek. Lexa looked so vulnerable, more like young, innocent girl, than fierce Grounder leader. She had allow Clarke see her sensitivity. Despite her attitude and reluctance for feelings, she was very emotional person.

            And Clarke loved her for that. She bowed her head and kissed Lexa in the forehead. The memory of Heda criclet, gleaming in the same place made powerful Wanheda want to howl, like mortally injured animal.

            But she couldn’t afford that. She stared at Lexa’s lifeless body for a long while before finally turning back to Roan. He was leaning against the tree, seemed to be pretty much involved in sharpening his knife. Clarke knew she was given a moment of privacy, and was grateful. She knew also that Roan brought her Lexa’s body, and she was grateful even more. But she wanted to know why.

            ,,Ontari ordered me to burn her body. Without a ceremony, without people who were close to her. Just like Lexa was some kind of garbage, which is needed to be disposed of.” Roan said suddenly, just like he could read Clarke’s mind. He still stared in non-existing spot in front of him. His voice was bitter, with unexpected tang of sadness.

            ,,You had no reason to be opposed to. She banished you, she didn’t honor your deal.”

            ,,She made me the king” He turned to Clarke and looked into her eyes. She shivered first, remembered that they were still wet of tears, but Roan didn’t seem to notice anything. ,,She spared my life, even though she wasn’t supposed to do that. I couldn’t just throw her body to a furnace. Besides, if someone who I love died, I would want to be on her funeral.”

            Unanticipated wave of warmth streamer into Clarke’s heart. Lexa was special. So special that even king of Azgeda noticed her uniqueness.

            ,,You don’t want nothing in return, really?” She asked suspiciously, holding the small box closer to her heart. She decided to be honest. ,,I have a Flame. Without it, Ontari will never ascend and you told me you wanted an Ice Nation Commander.”

            ,,If you stole it, endangering your life, I assume you have an idea how to use it”

            ,,Yes, she does”

            Another voice suddenly reverberated in the glade. Woman dressed in bottle green cloak approached from the trees, face covered by a hood. Her fingers were crossed around the sword, her eyes gleamed fiercely.

            ,,Indra? What the hell are you doing here?”

            Woman seemed to ignore Clarke’s question. She walked up to Lexa’s body and stared at it for a long while. Sadness and sympathy suddenly They used to disagree very often, but respect and value each other nonentheless.

            - ,,Roan came across me somewhere near Polis’ border.” She walked up to them, but didn’t lowered the sword. Although Clarke realised immediately, that if they had been attacked, Indra hardly would be able to defend herself. ,,I had some work to deal with but I had to say the last goodbye to my Heda. And see to Flame, being taken by the rigthful person. Obviously because of Luna’s cowardice she doesn’t deserve and will be a disgrace.” She laughed bitterly, still circling around them like a lurking predator. ,,But she’s still better than girl raised in Azgeda, who sliced the heads of children in their sleep”.

            She squeted and picked up the large piece of wood. Her cloak fluttered on the wind.

            ,,We should make a death pyre.”

            Yes, they had. Clarke trembled inside, again. She was kindly aware this is the way Grounders do funerals. Although she couldn’t stand a thought of Lexa’s body, being slowly incinerated by raging flames.

            ,,You know your Luna will most likely tell you not to don’t bother her with your problems? I can’t imagine her taking the Flame.”

            Clarke felt a cold shiver through her spine. Roan seemed to be convinced. Hardly noticable shadow of resignation flew through Indra’s face. Luna could not refuse. If she did, Ontari with Pike would plunge the world into darkness. Everything which Lexa used to believe in, would be destroyed.

            She couldn’t let that happen. She lifted the branch off and threw it on the stake.

            ,,We will convince her. That’s her birthright, she won’t reject it, when we tell her what have happened in Polis. I know she won’t. But you have to let us find her.”

            ,,Otherwise we’ll fight”

            ,,Especially you are capable of fighting, after what Skaikru had done to you” Roan smirked ironically, while taking more bileds from the ground. Metal ornaments decorating his clothing clattered during his every move. Stake immediately becomed bigger and bigger. ,,If I wanted to kill you two, I’d do it easily.”

            Clarke threw the branch on the pyre and stood exactly between Roan and Indra. Her eyes shined. It was her lover’s funeral, she wouldn’t let it be destroyed by unnecessary arguments.

            ,,Roan, do you want Ontari to be Commander?”

            ,,I don’t know” He answered honestly. Clarke saw in his eyes, that it was actual honesty. ,,She’s Ice Nation, but was raised by my mother, and saying our worldview is different would be a huge understatement. I’ve known Luna before. She may be good leader. Lexa was a good leader, even though she was Trikru.”

            ,,So please, honor Lexa” Clarke tried her best again. It wasn’t only about her people’s welfare and Coalition survival. It was about Lexa. She was a visionary, a reason Clarke stopped picturing Grounders as uncivilized savages. She used to fight for unity her entire life, Clarke was terrified that what she had achieved would shatter a couple of days after her death. ,,Let us get to Luna. She will know about your help.”

            ,,I don’t care whether she does or not”. Cold blow of wind made Clarke shiver. The clouds becomed darker, it was definitely going to rain. She beared the look of Roan’s eyes, drilling into her skull. Indra remained silent, but she definitely listened carefully to every word. ,,I told you she isn’t likely to take it, but even if she does, half of the clans won’t accept the Commander, who fled from her Conclave. Majority of Trikru will not obey her. My army outnumber them in full, so when the half will refuse fighting, neither Polis nor Arkadia stand a chance. It’s your concern to convince Luna to care about Azgeda’s issues.”

            ,,Are you threating me?!” Indra raised her voice. Her clothes blowed, moved by the strong wind, her eyes gleamed like two brands. She looked fiercely and dangerously, how the true Grounder is supposed to do.

            ,,Stop! Roan is not threating you, Indra. He’s just making sure we know his conditions. And we do.” Clarke stood in the middle of the glade, looking on them both with tenacity. Indra knew that look. It was the same when she told her mother, that she may have been the Chancellor, but Clarke had been in charge. Just like she was in charge now. ,,We came here on purpose. The deal is made. I’m searching for Luna, Roan and Indra… I guess you have to check the things in your clans. So do it. But now…

            She stopped, suddenly being short of breath. Three of them walked up to Lexa’s body. Clarke wanted to cry, but no tear fell from her eyes. She was Wanheda now. She had a mission to finish, people to lead, important issues to deal with. She couldn’t afford being weak. Not now. Not yet.

            She took the knife and cut a tendril of Lexa’s hair. The memory of her, doing the same to Anya suddenly flashed in her mind. It seemed to happen years ago. She tried to braid soft brown hair, just like Anya had done to her little second, but her hands were shaking, unable to keep the strands together.

            ,,Let me help you.” Indra took Lexa’s hair into her palm and made the braid immediately. Clarke hid it in her jacket, just above her heart.

            ,,Are you ready”?

            ,,I’ll never be. But we have to hurry.”

            Sky gleamed like a steel. Heavy, dark clouds were riding above them. Treetops were vanishing in dense fog. No birds could be heard, while they placed Lexa’s body on the pyre. Wind was blowing harshly, when Roan gave Clarke a burning torch.

            When she first met Lexa, there had been a fire, too. Finn’s pyre, similar to this one. History repeated itself, but this time the was the powerful Commander, whose body was going to be burned. What an irony.

            One tear flew down her cheek. She bowed her head and kissed both of Lexa’s closed eyelids. Her temples, her forehead and soft lips. For the last time. The following second, the pyre burned gold and red.

            _,,Yu gonplei ste odon”_   Clarke whispered first, Roan and Indra repeated after her.

            She stared at the flames, unable to breath, unable to move. Her love was being consumed by fire. Every moment they spent together, appeared in Clarke’s mind, again. She held the Flame, close to her chest.

            _Death is not the end._

The flames gleamed in scarlet. Wood cracked, nature was playing wild requiem for its Commander. The sky was covered by smoke, it hurt Clarke’s airways, making her want to cough. She watched the fire calmly. Maybe what she’d been told as a child was true. Maybe there was a life after death, and Lexa was already here, in better place.

            _,,In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground”_

            The Ark prayer reverberated in the dark forest. Clarke looked at the pyre, than at Roan’s and Indra’s faces, gleaming in gold. Sudden wave of peace flowed through her heart. Their romance was beautiful. Trust, passion, guilt, forgiveness. It ended to early, but would still live in Clarke’s soul.

            _,,May we meet again”_   She ended.

            She would never forget Lexa. She would fight for her visions, her ideas, her Coalition. She would do whatever it takes to make world a better place. For both Grounders, and Skaikru. And she would hope, that one day, when her fight would be over, she would see her lover again.

            Now she had to bid her goodbye. But this was not their last farewell. In eternity, their love would live. In eternity, they would be finally together. They would be immortal.


End file.
